Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
