Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
