If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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