you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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