I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
