I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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