one might say we're banned from that church
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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