well most of my day revolves around power hour
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I pour the whiskey from now on
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
