Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
