I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
