But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
