Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
