My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My breasts were aching with rage.
He? As in you personified your dick?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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