Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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