need another drink. this is the easiest way
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
