Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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