theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
