actually, I'm a sock model
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
