Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize