Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize