john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
