you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
