Acid is not a monday night drug
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
There are leaves in my underwear?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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