she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
