Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think people are normalizing furries
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
