He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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