Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize