Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
