I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
