Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
