Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
