The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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