sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
