Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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