This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
