Yo dont text me then not text me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
