Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
