Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
