Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
should my penis look like a turkey
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
