Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
