His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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