vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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