And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize