I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just found puke in my bra..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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