The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
