He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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