tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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