when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
