There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
