So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize