when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
