Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
