You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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