You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
