We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize