i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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