We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
