don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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