i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
