My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
