Quick, to the slutcave!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
