Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
